it doesnt have to feel perfect. it just has to feel okay. thing is im not okay and id rather feel alone than feel the pain again, learn of your lies again, hear you say the things you say and do otherwise. it sucks to be me. i often ask god why do i suffer and he never answers. i guess thats what he does to people. hed punish and leave them asking questions that can only be answered by his majesty. i bo longer find myself completely happy and content. my life and philosophy used to be simple. used to be. theres the catch phrase. now theres nothing simple about me or life or situations. everything seem to be useless and pointless from this side of town. nothing is more important than myself and my daughter. and the world has become a survival game rather than a gift if you ask me. my hopeful, righteous heart just turned dark enough to hate everything including myself without any care.
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